Sept. 20, 2013
This week I launched the new “Are You Lost in Suburbia?” community over on my sister site, Lost in Suburbia stories. I invited women to share THEIR stories about being lost in motherhood and how they found or are finding their way to the other side. Every week, I’m selecting one story to be featured here on the main blog. Today I’m sharing a post by Tracey Maron-Anthony who writes about becoming an Accidental Mother. Tracey wins a signed copy of my book, “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir: How I Got Pregnant, Lost Myself, and Got My Cool Back in the New Jersey Suburbs,” and a gift basket from CVS Pharmacy ExtraCare Pharmacy and Health Rewards which lets you earn $5 ExtraBucks® Rewards every time you fill 10 prescriptions. Here is Tracey’s post!
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I am an accidental mother. I never expected to have children. Don’t get me wrong. I like children. I like cats and dogs too. They’re fun to pet and snuggle with, but so much better when they belong to someone else.
My husband went into the marriage thinking he would like kids, but (by plying him with romantic vacations and football filled Sundays) I managed to convince him that being an uncle was a better choice. We loved being DINKS, and laughed when our friends told us that we were “Missing out.”
And then I had my accident. No, not an “oops” accident, an actual, turning my sedan into a compact car accident. I was taken to the the hospital in a neck brace, and my car was towed to the scrapyard…along with my birth control pills. I didn’t worry. I remembered my friend’s struggle and her doctor’s explanation that “If you’ve been on birth control for years, it’s hard to get pregnant.”
She needs a new doctor.
My friends assured me that pregnancy would be easy, and that parenthood was the most amazing thing they’d ever done.
I need new friends.
Pregnancy was rough, and not just physically (the smell of meat cooking could chase me from the house), and emotionally (even Budweiser Clydesdales can bring a woman to tears, especially when she’s craving a beer). There were just too many damn choices to be made. Who do you tell first? (Note – men get pissy when they find out via social media) What do you name the baby? (I wanted to name my boy either Justin Case or Justin Time – my friends were relieved when I had a girl). How do you decorate the nursery? What type of crib?carseat/stroller/diapers? How do you have the baby? Yes, this is a choice. You can have a doctor and a C-section, or a midwife and a birthing room – you can even have a baby in a bathtub! After hearing labor horror stories from (I assume) well-meaning family, friends and strangers, I decided not to have the baby. At 9 months, it wasn’t really an option, but that’s what I decided (Side note to mathematicians – in what type of math does 40 weeks equal 9 months?).
To be honest, the many choices and sleep deprivation that came with pregnancy helped prepare me for motherhood. My friends lied about pregnancy being easy, but they were right about parenthood being amazing. As strange as it sounds, my husband and I will be eternally grateful for my car accident, and the little girl who stole our hearts and changed our lives.
Of course, parenthood is also work, and work is a four letter word.
To share your story at Lost in Suburbia Stories, CLICK HERE!