Have you every had to let go of something that was important or special — something that you had put time, effort, and love into.
Maybe it was a marriage, friendship, job, hobby, a hope, plan or a dream.
Letting go is hard.
When you step back and take a look at everything you have put into that special something, you want to continue to grasp hard, hold on, try to make it what you hoped it would be.
There may even be a feeling of desperation, loss and grief.
When you have put your heart into something it becomes a part of you.
You identify yourself with it. You say you are someone's husband, wife or friend.
You pridefully say who your employer is, and what position you hold. You identify yourself with your special something in your conversations with others and share your dream and progresses you have taken toward making it come true.
There is a saying “Tell God your plan and He laughs.”
Sometimes we work to our own plan, and loose sight of God's plan for us in our lives. We become very attached to our plans and our dreams, invest our heart and soul into the things of this world, forgetting who is really in charge.
Yes, letting go is hard.
At first there may be feelings of shock or denial.
Questioning “how could this happen?”
There may be anger or bargaining in your attempts to hold on.
As you come to the realization of the loss there are feelings of pain; that is normal. In reflection, you may feel guilt over what you “should have, could have” done.
In Jeremiah 29:11 God tells us “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
As God works in your life towards His plan, there is an upward turn.
Adjusting to the realization of the loss and “getting your head right” in moving forward, trust in God's word: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:26)
He gives us the hope for our future.
Comforts us during our journey toward acceptance of the loss.
He helps us deal with the reality of the situation, helps us once again have anticipation and excitement for the joys yet to come.
The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knows those who trust Him (Nahum 1:7).
After acceptance of the loss, you will trust again.
You will feel joy again.
You will look forward with newness, wisdom of your experience, and fresh ideas for the future.
Grow closer and more trusting in God's plan.
Sometimes that means letting go.
Linda Yearout is a Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist at Hope's Place.